B-Fest 2006 Primer, part 2

After Plan 9 wraps up and the wimpier attendees shuffle off to their sleeping bags and dorm rooms, the fun really begins. From year to year the post Plan 9 spot vacillates between the "mind-bender" movie and the Blaxploitation flick. This year it's firmly the Blaxpo slot featuring the Pam Grier classic Coffy.

As Coffy, Grier is more woman than anyone could possibly handle, which is just the way we like it: loud, sexy, and impossibly violent. Coffy's mission in life is to rid her city of drug dealers in an ongoing act of revenge for the junk-induced death of her kid sister. Along the way our heroine suffers beatings at the hands of heroin dealers and the self-imposed indignity of posing as a hooker to get close to the drug boss and pimp known as King George. There's not much more to it than that, except for the fact that writer/director Jack Hill (the most recognizable name after Roger Corman when it comes to exploitation auteurs) convinced Grier to do a number of her scenes without her top. This one will definitely keep people awake.

Recommended snack food: Coffee. Duh! Or coffee ice cream, if you're not man enough to handle Coffy.

Gas-s-s-s! This is the traditional B-Fest mind-bender for 2006, though from the looks of things (I haven't seen it myself) it won't provide nearly the pain of previous brain-erasing entries like Hieronymous Merkin or Greaser's Palace. This was Roger Corman's last film for American International Pictures (he objected strongly to the editing they performed on the film - director's cut, anyone?) and it appears to be a typical Corman effort to try and freak out the squares. Similar to Wild in the Streets (which played at B-Fest 2001), Gas-s-s-s! is a story in which the young dominate the world. This time a deadly nerve gas is released upon the world which kills anyone over the age of 25. (Consequently, no one on the planet may rent a car.) From there it becomes a sort of road movie, focussing on a small group of wandering hippies who escape Dallas, TX (which they probably should have done in the first place) to search for a desert commune where the world's peaceful survivors congregate. Bud Cort, Talia Shire, Cindy Williams, and Ben Vereen are here, mostly in smaller roles, but the principal actors are people I don't recognize. A band called "Country Joe and the Fish" (you may remember them from Zachariah) provides the soundtrack, which can't be good. In Zachariah they got naked - hopefully that won't happen here, but if it does it can only add to the legend of B-Fest.

Recommended snack food: brownies - "special ingredients" optional.

Tromeo and Juliet: fortunately, this plays in the Dead Zone (aka the Doldrums), right about when I'll be ready for a nap. Much as I respect Lloyd Kaufman as an entrepreneur and character, I'm not fond of most of his movies. There's something about the Troma attitude of trying to make a bad movie that rubs me the wrong way. I think calling this an obnoxious modernized version of the Shakespeare play is not too far from the mark. There's a fair bit of nudity though, so it fits with the B-Fest tradition of a blue movie in the wee hours.

Recommended snack food: crayons. Like Troma movies they're colorful and non-toxic, but not particularly tasty or nutritious.

Next entry: Attack of the '80s!