Some movies are simply immune to film criticism. I could say that The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is a big, dumb, loud, and often unintentionally hilarious 100 minutes of pure summer movie junk, which it certainly is. Something tells me that director Justin Lin (Annapolis) would just shrug his shoulders and agree with me. And yet, something also tells me that when I would call it big and dumb and loud to his face, I would say so with a goofy grin on my face. No one will ever confuse Tokyo Drift for being a good movie, but I'd be lying if I didn't say it isn't fun in a guilty pleasure sort of way. No one can deny that the movie delivers on what the title promises. It's fast, it's furious, and the car action sequences are sometimes spectacular. If you can focus on that, and not the lamebrained plot or the often laughably bad dialogue, you'll have a good time with this film.

Our rebel hero is a high school student named Sean Boswell (Lucas Black). He looks like he's about 15-years too old to be in high school, but that's okay, he goes to one of those magical movie high schools where everyone looks like they're pushing 30, and have the bodies of models. Sean is a troublemaker, especially when he's behind the wheel of a car. Less than three minutes after the opening credits are done, he's already stuck in a race with a snobby rich kid that winds up destroying massive amounts of public property. Sean's mom has had enough, and so has the local law enforcement, so they decide to send him to Japan where his military father (Brian Goodman) lives, hoping he can straighten him out. It doesn't take Sean long until he's in trouble again, this time with the Japanese Mafia. You see, Sean has his eyes on a pretty young girl named Neela (Nathalie Kelley). Problem is, she's currently dating the son of a Mafia crime boss who calls himself D.K. (Brian Tee), which stands for "Drift King", since he's the king of the underground drift racing circuit in Japan. With the help of his sassy black friend named Twinkie (rapper Bow Wow), and a few auto racing addicts who would like to see D.K. fall, Sean will rise to the top, win the heart of the girl, and basically break every conceivable road law known to man in public without a single police officer or pedestrian raising an eyebrow.

It goes without saying that you don't see a movie called The Fast and the Furious for its engaging plot and dialogue. Good thing too, because the screenplay by Chris Morgan, Kario Salem, and Alfredo Botello is so juvenile and ludicrous that I have a hard time picturing them writing this stuff with a straight face. I certainly had a hard time listening to its ham-fisted dialogue as the characters "philosophize" about speed and cars, and the third rate acting that would hardly cut it in a high school musical. The script is a messy combination of crime drama, music video, and Girls Gone Wild as various Asian women flash their behinds at the camera in shots that linger on for far too long to not make the audience burst into laughter. The fact that the movie tries to fool you into thinking it's about something by having some half-hearted attempts at quiet character building scenes makes it all the more hilarious. The conflict between son and father is all but forgotten for pretty much the entire movie (The father lays down some strict rules when Sean arrives, then seems to not care for quite a while that his son is staying out all night doing "extra curricular" activities at school.), and the whole plot about Sean and D.K. competing for the affections of lead girl Neela seems underdeveloped, since the two guys seem to be more interested in cars than women in the first place.

Where Tokyo Drift becomes fun is with its multitude of fast-paced, impressive, and often downright thrilling car-based action sequences, which are some of the finest I've seen in an action movie lately. They are big, loud as hell, and sometimes barely coherent, but the action is often quite frequently intense, even if some of the sequences seem to be about as easy to swallow as having a piano shoved down your throat. (I loved the scene where the characters are zooming in and out of traffic, and are speeding along so fast that they cannot stop in time to avoid hitting a large mob of people crossing the street. So, what happens? The crowd of people literally part themselves like the Red Sea, giving the drivers plenty of opportunity to just drive right through the giant convenient gap that the crowd of pedestrians managed to make in a split second.) It doesn't really matter if it's believable or not, all that matters is that it's fun and well done, and it certainly is here. The stunt driving is first rate, and although the editing may be a bit too rapid, it does manage to mostly keep up with the action and not make it too confusing. I have the feeling that these scenes are what the audience for the movie will be coming for, and in this regard, Tokyo Drift definitely delivers.

So, having said that, do I really have to say much about the acting on display? Most of them are just pretty bodies filling the roles of the characters, and they pretty much know it. They glare, smile, and wink at the camera on cue as they show off their perfectly toned bodies. And just like the high school in the film's opening scenes, they all stick out like sore thumbs when they're dressed in their school uniforms. As far as the lead roles go, only Brian Tee stands out as the evil D.K., because he actually comes across as somewhat menacing. For a violent rebel, Sean certainly doesn't come across the same way, most likely because Lucas Black plays him with a heavy Southern drawl and a big toothy grin in place of actual acting or emotion. And for a girl who's supposed to be torn between the two men, first-time actress Nathalie Kelley certainly doesn't show it.

Still, as I mentioned before, all of this is pointless. Tokyo Drift isn't a movie so much as it's one big geek out session for car fanatics. They're sure to get their kicks. I admit, I had some fun too, despite how blatantly stupid the movie can be. The movie is a bit too long for its own good, but for big dumb entertainment, you could certainly do a lot worse. The movie at least does not squander its foreign setting, so anyone interested in Japan or Tokyo will enjoy the scenery, which is actually shot very well. In the end, all I can say is I know when I'm beat. I can insult this movie's script and acting all I want, and it won't make a world of difference. If that's the kind of thing you're looking for in your movie, you're in the wrong cinema, pal.

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