X-Men: The Last Stand
When a major pharmaceutical company develops a "cure" for genetic mutations, the mutants who inhabit the world amongst the humans become divided. On the side of good we've got the X-Men, led by Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart), who want to improve the relations between humans and mutants. On the opposite side, we've got the Brotherhood, a band of rebellious mutants led by the powerful terrorist Magneto (Ian McKellen) who believe that humans are inferior to their kind. The invention of the cure, and the extreme methods that the Government goes about establishing it, almost forcing it upon all mutants, tears the divide even wider, and gives Magneto an ample opportunity to expand his army and unite them against the human race and destroy those who wish to "cure" them. With the lines of battle drawn, veteran X-Men Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Storm (Halle Berry) will have to prepare some of Xavier's youngest students for what could be the final and ultimate battle that decides the fate of both mutants and humans. In a parallel subplot, one of Xavier's followers, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) has returned after supposedly falling in battle in the last film, but seems to be struggling with a dual personality and a great power that has gone out of control.
X-Men: The Last Stand pretty much hits the same notes that audiences have come to expect from the previous entries. There's lots of talk about equality, racism, prejudice, and other hot button topics that are placed under the disguise of a superhero summer blockbuster movie. There's also lots of fast-paced action, lots of stunts, and lots and lots of mutants - more so than in the earlier films I think. The film combs the rich history of the comic book and brings some fan favorites to life including the intellectual Beast (Kelsey Grammer) and the unstoppable supervillain Juggernaut, who in this movie bears a striking resemblance to an old He-Man toy I once owned named Ram-Man. That's merely the tip of the iceberg, as the film is filled with literally a cast of thousands. Of course, this being a movie that barely stretches past 100-minutes, there's hardly any time for us to get to know even a small majority of them. The movie seems to be frantically trying to please every comic book fanboy in the audience, giving each mutant - good or evil - a split second to shine by showing off their power before it moves onto the next cameo. Many of the characters are so underdeveloped that potentially powerful or dramatic scenes fall flat on their face. The brief reunion between Cyclops (James Marsden) and his love Jean Grey should be a touching and moving moment, but the scene is handled clumsily, and those who have not seen the earlier films will probably wonder what the heck just happened. The most glaring example of the screenplay's lack of character is that of a mutant called Angel, who is actually the son of the man who invented the cure, and was the inspiration for his father looking for a cure in the first place. The movie does not bother to develop the relationship between father and son even once, and the character of Angel has very little dialogue, opting instead to mainly just fly around with the wings on his back in almost every scene he's in instead of actually doing anything. It just seems like because of the movie's desire to hit so many story points in such a short amount of time, the characters suffer, and don't become half as memorable as they possibly could have been.
When the movie's not speeding along, giving us mutants galore, the film works thanks to a slightly more intelligent tone than one would expect in a summer blockbuster. As mentioned before, its talk of mutant and human relations are really thinly veiled messages on controversial topics, and the screenplay handles these scenes in a thoughtful manner that does not get preachy or overbearing. But, with this being a summer movie, most folks are not going to care about that - they're going to care about the action. Thankfully, The Last Stand delivers in this regard. Even though it takes quite a while to get to some of the big event scenes, they are well worth the wait, the highlights including Magneto using his power to manipulate the Golden Gate Bridge, and the complex climactic battle which manages to juggle its large cast of characters more successfully than almost the entire rest of the movie up to that point. The movie can thrill when it wants to, and Brett Ratner does a good job of following in the footsteps of the original director, Bryan Singer. His look and style is faithful to the tone set up in the previous two movies, so it looks like a natural succession from the last installment to this. The film also takes some daring risks in its storytelling, something that may not sit well with fans of the original comic books, but does help add some much needed tension to the proceedings. If the characterizations had been just as strong as the more action-heavy moments, this could have been the first summer blockbuster of the year that really and truly worked for me. As it is, X-Men works most of the time, but not enough for it to truly be memorable.
At least we've got some enjoyable performances to enjoy here, even if they seem a bit held back by the film's rushed pace. The returning cast slide easily back into their roles, even if quite a few of them have a lot less to do than in previous installments including Anna Paquin, James Marsden, and Rebecca Romijn. Halle Berry's Storm character gets a larger role this time around due to contract obligations, yet still comes across as being highly uncharismatic, especially when compared to Jackman's Wolverine, who unfortunately plays a slightly lesser role in the story than in the past. Standing out in the returning cast is Famke Janssen, who gets to do something radically different with her character, and is able to bring the right amount of confusion, terror, and viciousness that she needs this time around. Of the new cast, the only one able to make any sort of impression is Beast. Kelsey Grammer's dry wit, charm, and intelligence is a perfect live action realization of the character, and the make up work which requires him to be covered head to foot in a blue furry costume works extremely well and does not seem out of place or silly. The real stars, as always, are Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen as the former best friends turned rivals with differing views on how mutants should fit into the world. Every scene they're in, especially the scenes where they're together, immediately grabs your attention. You almost wish the movie would stop giving us new mutants, and just concentrate on these two, as their performances are so commanding and full of screen presence that you can't take your eyes off of.
In the months leading up to its release, X-Men: The Last Stand has taken quite a beating on the Internet from fanboys unhappy with the direction this film was going to take the franchise. I'm happy to report that despite its obvious flaws in characterization, it's not that bad. The movie just bites off more than it can chew and winds up paying a price, though not one strong enough to make me regret seeing it. Perhaps there never can be a truly perfect X-Men movie, as the history of the comic involves too many characters and too many storylines. (The roster of the X-Men is constantly changing in the comic, so it must be hard for the filmmakers to decide which characters to focus on in each installment.) According to Fox, this is to be the final X-Men movie before they move onto individual spinoff films on certain popular characters like Wolverine. Of course, as we all know, box office can change a studio's mind. After all, 1984's Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter was far from "final". Judging by this movie's ending, I wouldn't be surprised if we see the X-Men return for a fourth installment. As long as they could tighten the script a bit more, I'd be all for it.
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The paper-thin plot centers around a massive and oddly named serial killer called Jacob Goodnight (played by Professional Wrestler Kane). He's a hulking brute who was raised by a psychotically religious mother, so now he goes around removing "sinners" from the world. In the film's prologue sequence, a pair of cops stage a bust on Jacob's home while he's in the process of torturing a woman. One of the cops gets hacked with an ax, and the other (Steven Vidler) loses an arm, but still manages to get a shot in on the madman, causing the psycho to go on the run. He apparently eluded capture, as the film then flashes forward four years later, and the cop who survived now has a wooden arm, and is currently making a living watching over troubled youth at the local Juvenile Prison. A small group of eight troubled teens have been given a chance to shorten their sentences if they participate in a clean up project of an abandoned old hotel that's set to be transformed into a homeless shelter. Our group is made up of your standard teen types that you see in these kind of movies including the stuck up blonde, the jerk, the geek, the tough-talking black guy, the good girl, etc. The teens get to work, but only for about five minutes, then they start wandering off so they can have sex and do drugs without the adult guardians knowing. No surprise that this abandoned old building is the very place that Jacob Goodnight has been making his hideout for the past couple years, and these troubled teens who have not found religion really tick the big schmuck off.
And so the blood and carnage begins. Jacob is armed with a giant hook attached to a chain, his own brute strength, a swarm of flies that follow him everywhere he goes for reasons unexplained by the screenplay, and the I.Q. of a 10-year old who has just discovered that it's fun to torture people. The teens and most of the adults are picked off one by one until there's just a small group left for the final showdown. If you're worried that I'm revealing too much about the movie, don't be, there's not much to reveal. After the teens sneak away from the adults and start having sex and sticking their noses in places they shouldn't, the movie becomes an endless series of gore scenes where one of the kids meets their end at the hands of the simple-minded maniac. This is to be expected in a movie of its kind, so I can forgive it. What I cannot forgive is the movie's near ineptitude of coming up with some creative kills. All slasher movies are judged solely on their death scenes, and aside from a couple standouts, See No Evil keeps on playing the same song over and over again. The flies start buzzing around the victim, Jacob Goodnight appears from out of nowhere or smashes through a wall or mirror "unexpectedly", he plants his giant hook in them, then drags them away. Maybe it's kind of fun the first time it happens, but then it does the same thing another four or five more times. Fortunately, the movie starts to get a bit more creative near the end, including one with a girl dying because Jacob shoves a ringing cell phone down her throat, and another animal-loving girl who is eaten alive by a pack of wild dogs. Aside from these rare standouts, See No Evil just does not offer a large variety of kills, and starts to become repetitive long before it's time for the final battle.
As is to be expected in a slasher movie produced by a Professional Wrestling film division and directed by a former porn filmmaker, there's not a lot to interest in terms of performances or technical aspects. The best thing I can say about the teens is that none of their performances flat out annoyed me, and the ones who annoyed me a little bit at least met their ends pretty quickly. As for Kane, despite the fact that he gets top billing above the title, he has very little to do here but grunt, groan, and look pissed off or confused. He's dreaming if he thinks he's going to match the lofty heights of master thespian Hulk Hogan with material like this. Kane will need a Mr. Nanny or a Suburban Commando if he ever wants me to take him seriously as an actor. Director Gregory Dark seems to have mainly been influenced by music videos with his look for this film. There's a lot of quick zoom in shots and rapid fire editing tricks, but it's all a lot of style for no reason whatsoever. And I don't know who had the bright idea to set some of the key scenes of the film to the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children" played on a continuous and seemingly-endless loop, but I want to personally punch them in the face. If you don't already hate the song, you will after watching this movie. I know, it's a "religious" horror movie and all, but it still comes across as overkill.
Based on the long-running newspaper comic strip, the film tells the story of a fast-talking raccoon named R.J. (voice by Bruce Willis), who finds himself in a life or death situation when he winds up destroying a hibernating bear's stash of junk food after his attempt to swipe a snack from the grizzly goes horribly wrong. The bear (whose growling voice is provided with appropriate gusto and viciousness by Nick Nolte) is understandably not happy, and offers R.J. an offer he literally can't refuse - restock his entire cave with food in one week or die. The raccoon laments over his soon-to-be-sealed fate, wondering how he will gather such a large amount of food in such a short time until he comes across a newly developed suburban community, complete with ignorant humans who live to stuff their faces with food. Even better, he comes across a small group of animals who have just awakened from winter hibernation, only to find most of their forest home gone and replaced by the terrifying and strange human community. The group of animals, led by soft-spoken turtle Verne (Garry Shandling) are not sure what to make of this new world they have awakened to. Fortunately, R.J. is here to befriend them and show them the ropes of dealing with humans. Of course, he's just using them to help swipe food from the community so he can save his own skin. What none of the animals realize is that their presence is already starting to be known by the humans, and they have called upon a vicious exterminator (Thomas Hayden Church) to take care of the sudden rodent problem.
Though its plot may be slight, Over the Hedge overcomes this obstacle by bringing together a likeably offbeat group of animal characters, all of whom would probably be worthy enough to star in their own animated film. Besides R.J. and Verne, the other animals who find themselves having to adapt to humanity include the child-like hyperactive squirrel Hammy (Steve Carell), no-nonsense skunk Stella (Wanda Sykes), a family of porcupines led by a mother and father who talk like they just walked right off the set of the Coen Brothers' Fargo (Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara), and a father and teenage daughter possum couple who specialize in playing dead whenever trouble strikes, even if the daughter finds the act extremely humiliating. (William Shatner and singer Avril Lavigne). These are not the soulless comic relief sidekicks that plague so many other lesser animated films. They have genuine emotions, they are fairly developed considering the brief 85-minute running time, and they are actual characters with real fears and concerns. In a wise move, the creative staff behind this film have steered clear of the usual Dreamworks formula of stuffing the film to the brim with pop culture references and rapid-fire gags, and have instead crafted a story where the humor grows from the characters, the dialogue, and their relationships with one another. It's rare to find these things in an animated movie, or even a live action one, and the fact that Over the Hedge manages to do all of this so well makes it special.
As is to be expected, the animation is pleasing to the eye, with a strong artstyle that skillfully mixes realistic backgrounds with more cartoon-based character designs. The characters mesh well with their surroundings and never seem out of place of awkward. There are a number of little details I noticed in this movie that I enjoyed, such as the way the animal fur reacts appropriately to the action that the character is currently involved in, all the way to the clever and funny reaction shots and facial expressions of the animal characters. They're human enough for audiences to be able to relate to them, but they do not act like people trapped in furry costumes. They don't go around quoting popular movies or music (except for a pampered house cat who apparently once watched A Streetcar Named Desire with his human owner), and they are not one-liner machines who spout off quick wit at a moment's notice. Verne and his "family" are lost and confused, and R.J. slowly begins to accept and feel accepted by the very people he is trying to swindle. These are the characters we're supposed to relate to, while the human characters are kept appropriately underdeveloped, so that they seem just as alien and foreign to us as they do to the animals that have found themselves forced into this strange new world of SUVs and hi-definition TVs. I don't want to give the impression that the film is entirely serious, as there are plenty of moments that will have kids laughing, and the accompanying adults as well. The way that Hammy the Squirrel winds up saving the day is one of the best visual gags I've seen in a movie in quite a while.
The action (so to speak) begins when the curator of the Louvre museum is found dead with various symbols carved into his body and mysterious and cryptic messages left behind on the ground. Symbols expert Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) is called in by the French police to decode the messages left behind. He meets up with Police Captain Fache (Jean Reno) and young cryptologist Sophie Neveu (Audrey Tautou) at the crime scene, and quickly discovers that things are not what they seem. Sophie secretly reveals that she is the estranged granddaughter of the murder victim, and that Robert is being set up by the police to become the prime suspect. The two manage to escape, and begin a lengthy quest for the truth behind the riddles left behind on the museum floor. The quest will lead them to uncover a secret religious war that has been held for centuries that, if uncovered, could blow the lid off of Christianity's core beliefs.
Even having never read the original source material, I have a hunch that this film is slavishly faithful to the book due to the fact that there are way too many exposition-heavy scenes where the characters simply sit there and spell out the plot. What works on the written page does not always work on the big screen. In adapting the novel to the big screen, writer Akiva Goldsman was obviously under pressure not to disappoint the legions of fans, so he seems to have literally copied the dialogue word for word. This leads to countless scenes that go on for way too long. I can picture them working in a novel, lying on a cozy couch, and letting the words sink in. But sitting in a stiff cineplex seat watching highly paid actors recite the dialogue in a strangely wooden and unemotional manner is an entirely different matter all together. Director Ron Howard tries to spice things up with "visual aids" that mainly come in the form of flashbacks that act out what the characters are talking about. But, he relies on this technique way too often that it almost becomes comical by the end. I don't remember a movie having this many flashbacks, and it gets to the point that it seems like the characters in the flashbacks are having flashbacks. It'd help if maybe the story being told was interesting, but despite its talk of religious wars and a quest for the true Holy Grail, the plot never quite seems to truly engage or grab our attention.
I would have no problem with the movie being a character-driven mystery if the characters themselves were actually interesting. Unfortunately, none of the characters except for one made any sort of impression on me. The characters seem interchangeable at times, as there's very little to distinguish Robert from Sophie, other than the fact that Sophie has this very ugly looking black mole on her neck that I couldn't stop staring at. The performances, in turn, are equally bland and colorless because the actors are too busy explaining the plot to develop any sort of personality. Even Tom Hanks seems strangely wooden and lacking in any sort of personality in his portrayal. The one and only character and performance that livens things up is Ian McKellan as a Grail scholar and long time friend of Robert. Not only is his character the only one who possesses a personality and (Heaven forbid) a sense of humor, but the performance by McKellan is equally lively and fun. He seems to be enjoying himself, something that everyone else is not, judging by their overly serious and expressionless faces that they are forced to hold throughout the film's entire running time. Unfortunately, he only appears during the middle portion of the movie. Once he's gone, the film goes right back into its previous pattern of lifeless characters and endless exposition dialogue.
What follows is a series of sub-sitcom level slapstick situations as Ashley slowly loses everything, and is practically reduced to living on the streets. (Of course, total poverty and depression is uproarious when you keep on getting stuck in comedic situations that play out like outtakes from a bad episode of I Love Lucy.) Jake, on the other hand, instantly finds his music management career on the rise after he saves the life of a powerful music mogul, and is instantly given a New York penthouse and a full recording contract for his band based solely on his actions. (Uh-huh...) Ashley is eventually able to figure out that the kiss she shared with the masked stranger is what changed her life around, and so she begins a desperate search. This being a moronic romantic comedy, it's never that easy, and the characters are forced to act like total idiots in accordance to the unwritten law of the "Idiot Plot" to make sure the movie runs torturously long (In this case, just under two hours.) when the problem could be solved in a mere matter of minutes.
As a concept, Just My Luck maybe could have been cute if the movie was actually trying to say something, but the screenplay by I. Marlene King and Amy B. Harris treats the situation like a failed pilot for a youth sitcom on the WB Network. As soon as Ashley's luck changes for the worst, it stops treating her as a character, and instead makes her out to be an idiotic foil who walks into all-too predictable slapstick traps that you can see coming from a mile away. She keeps on moaning about her bad luck, but I couldn't help but think that maybe if she wouldn't willingly electrocute herself, or just didn't turn on that washing machine after she knowingly dumped almost an entire box of detergent in, things would work out better for her. It's not that she's unlucky, it's just that she's a total idiot. The movie keeps on throwing her in a series of unlikely and increasingly ludicrous situations for the sake of humiliating her in an effort to make us sympathize with her plight of getting her luck back, but all it makes us do is despise her even more, because she's too much of a brainless dolt to realize what she's walking into in scene after scene. I'm sorry, I just find it hard to root for a girl who does not have the common sense to avoid exposing a flaming electric hair dryer that is still plugged in to water.
As Lohan's character is constantly pummeled and humiliated by her own stupidity, the character of Jake gets his dream life, and immediately is forgotten by the screenplay until it's his time to have a cute meeting with Ashley. The last time we see Jake, he's overly made up to look like the saddest excuse for a loser in a vain attempt to cover up actor Chris Pine's bland Hollywood pretty boy qualities. Then, when he's reintroduced to us, he's suddenly been made over to a guy to make all the teenage girls in the audience swoon. His overnight change from a guy who looks like he takes fashion tips from Rick Moranis' character in Little Shop of Horrors to Hollywood dreamboat is unexplained, but no matter. Ashley and Jake fall in love, even though there's absolutely no visible chemistry between the characters. Ashley's a hateful spoiled idiot, and Jake is a depressing schmuck. Who wouldn't pay full theater price to see people like these fall in love? Just My Luck falls flat on its face because it gives us absolutely nothing to be interested in and no one to relate to. The movie is so jam-packed with unlikeable one-note characters that it almost seems to be some kind of vicious smear campaign targeted at all the actors involved with this mess.
Quite honestly, the screenplay by Mark Protosevich does not care about the characters. They all get maybe a minute or two of introduction, and then the wave hits, and they're forced to band together. The movie is solely interested in being a nonstop special effects thrill ride. I must admit, the technical wizardry in this movie is most impressive. The actual disaster that turns the Poseidon from a luxury liner into a floating death trap is probably one of the most tense and horrific moments we're likely to see at the movies all summer. It is a beautifully crafted scene of horror, and the film wastes little to no time in getting to the sequence, since it knows that it's what the audience has come to see. It's the one moment of the film that truly stands out. Although the movie never quite sinks under its own weight (pardon the pun), it does just kind of float there, setting up plenty of dangers for our small band of heroes to face, but never quite topping the initial excitement and genuine thrills of the first 20 minutes.
What follows after the initial chaos is a group of underdeveloped characters played by highly paid actors who get really wet, severely injured, and struggle for survival. We never quite develop any sort of emotional response with anyone in the group, because the movie keeps us at a distance from them, opting instead to focus solely on the technical aspects of the story. Fortunately, there is a method to the madness. Wolfgang Peterson knows how to helm the film in such a way so that it never becomes too noisy or tedious, despite the fact that the movie is literally a nonstop 85-minute action sequence after about 15 minutes of shallow set up. In the wrong hands, Poseidon is a movie that I could easily see becoming annoying and quite quickly, and although it never quite captivates, it does hold some entertainment value throughout. It's fast-paced, never centers on a certain danger for far too long, and doesn't really give you time to complain. It's only when you're thinking back on the movie that you start to realize that there wasn't a whole lot up there on the screen. Those looking for light junk food for the brain entertainment are those who are most likely to be entertained by Poseidon.
The film has managed to round up a fine cast, but since the characters are so underdeveloped to the point of almost non-existence, it's kind of hard to rate their performances. I guess for a disaster movie like this, the best way to judge is if their fear was believable, and if they were able to pull off their multitude of stunts. Grading solely on these merits, the cast does extremely well. Kurt Russell and Josh Lucas play the "leader" roles of the group, and fill their parts with the proper amount of authority and strong presence. The rest of the group pretty much do what is expected of them. The women act scared and sob a lot for most of the running time, the cute kid character keeps on getting in trouble and wandering off, and the gay man pretty much stays in the background the entire time, because he's played by Richard Dreyfus, and he knows that he's too good for this material. The group at least work well together, and no one got on my nerves. The characters that are annoying (like a surly drunk who joins the group for a short time) are appropriately and expectedly wiped out mere moments after they enter the film. We learn so little about the characters, unfortunately, that it's hard to feel anything when the screenplay asks us to sympathize with them. There's an odd moment in the ballroom when the ship's ballroom singer hugs a man right before a disaster strikes. This is supposed to be a tender moment, but since the movie has not even bothered to develop her as a character (not even bothering to tell us up until now that this man was important to her), it comes across more as awkward than sentimental.
Our young hero is a preteen named Roy Eberhardt (Logan Lerman). His dad's job requires the family to move around a lot, and as the story begins, he's just recently moved to the seaside town of Coconut Grove, Florida. He wastes no time in running afoul of the local school bully (Eric Phillips), but is luckily eventually able to befriend two of the quirkiest kids in the neighborhood. They are the school's tomboyish tough girl Beatrice (Brie Larson) and her mysterious rebel freedom-fighter brother who goes by the nickname of Mullet Fingers (Cody Linley). These two kids spend all their time fighting to save the environment from greedy tycoons who like to build fancy hotels and restaurants in their area. Right now, they are busy battling some people who want to build a pancake chain restaurant on a ground where some endangered owls live. These aren't any ordinary owls, this kind live in tunnel-like holes in the ground, and if the restaurant is built as planned, the holes will be covered up and they will die. To prevent this from happening, Mullet Fingers sneaks into the construction site every night and sabotages their efforts. With the evil head of the restaurant chain (Clark Gregg) coming personally to bulldoze the ground, the kids will have to act fast in order to save their feathered friends, all the while avoiding a dim-witted local cop (Luke Wilson) put in charge of investigating the vandalism acts that keep on happening every night.
Hoot is apparently based on a popular children's novel, and I'm sure this light story would seem cute to a 10-year old on the printed page. But as a 90-minute movie, the film is just too slight and forgettable to make even the slightest impression. Writer-director Will Shriner tells his story with such a laid-back tone that it almost seems to be hardly moving at all. Despite the fact that the kids are supposedly in a race to save the lives of these endangered owls, they still have plenty of time to fish, fight bullies, and generally walk around doing nothing so the movie can show off the pretty Florida scenery. I wasn't exactly expecting a thrill-a-minute ride when I bought my ticket to this movie, but you know your movie has pacing problems when one of the children sitting in the row behind me became more interested in counting the number of popcorn kernels he had left in his bag than in watching what was up on the screen. The movie wants to be a message film to interest kids in endangered species, but the funny thing is, the owls and the plot surrounding them make such rare appearances that I once actually completely forgot about them. The owls themselves pop up two, maybe three times in the entire movie, and are often overshadowed by the subplot about Roy dealing with the evil bully at school. This subplot in turn leads to an absolutely ludicrous story point where Roy's apparently moronic parents force him to write a letter of apology to the violent bully after Roy accidently punches him in the face while trying to escape from the evil kid's choke hold.
That's the big problem with Hoot all around. This is one of those movies where the kids are smarter than every single adult, except for the kid's marine biology teacher, who is played by recording artist Jimmy Buffett. (Not only does he have a supporting role in the film, but he also recorded all the songs for the soundtrack and is credited as one of the producers.) Of course, being smarter than the adults is not hard in this movie, since every single adult figure in this movie is apparently either an oblivious moron or a money-grubbing tyrant who wants to kill innocent baby owls that live in holes. Take Luke Wilson's character as the local law enforcement officer. The man is depicted as being a kindhearted, yet obviously clueless buffoon, who is just a couple notches higher on the IQ chart than the Barney Fife character on the old Andy Griffith Show. Even though he's not that bad of a guy, the movie wastes no opportunity in humiliating him, going so far as to forcing him to drive around town in a modified golf cart vehicle after his police cruiser gets wrecked by the Mullet Fingers kid. Equally embarrassing is the foreman of the construction crew played by Tim Blake Nelson in a repeat performance of the exact same character he played six years ago as one of the slow-witted convicts in O Brother, Where Art Thou? He talks like he learned English by watching reruns of The Beverly Hillbillies, and generally comes across as every stupid Southerner stereotype rolled into one character. And, as mentioned earlier, Roy's own parents seem to care less as they are so oblivious to his actions that they almost come across as neglectful parents that should be arrested. The movie constantly asks us to suspend disbelief that these kids could get away with some of their sabotage actions without any adult figure punishing and/or noticing them. I'd really like to know how this Mullet Fingers was able to find and capture a full-sized alligator, and place it in the construction crew's outhouse without anyone noticing.
Even with a running time that barely stretches past 80 minutes, An American Haunting is one of the most padded and pointless excuses for a horror movie I have ever seen in my life. It's almost as if writer-director Solomon had no idea what he wanted to do with his movie about this supposedly true ghost story, so he simply decided to throw one "ghost attack" scene after another. After a shallow 10 minutes or so of set up, the movie sets into a pattern from which it never escapes. Eerie creaking or moaning or whisperings are heard from somewhere in the house, the adults tip toe about, trying to find the source of the sound, and then suddenly all chaos breaks loose, and teenage daughter Betsy is attacked in her sleep. She's either grabbed by her hair, lifted up into the air, and slapped repeatedly across the face by an unseen presence, or she's literally dragged around the house, up the stairs and even up the walls in sequences that end up resembling less moments of horror and more like slapstick parodies of scenes from The Exorcist. As soon as one ghost attack scene is over, another is ready to start less than a minute later, and that's not an exaggeration. I once decided to check my watch, and counted a good 20 or 30 seconds between the evil ghost's exit and its next appearance. The movie keeps on hitting the same notes and doing the same thing that we just want the movie to be over with before the film hits the 40 minute mark.
The film only becomes worse as it wobbles on to its shaky conclusion, as it completely stops even trying to make the least bit of sense. There is no sense of time, the movie jumping from one scene to another without any rhyme or reason. The entire production looks like it was edited with a chainsaw wielded by a drunk man wearing a blindfold. The movie keeps on throwing ghostly attacks, mysterious wolves that attack in the woods for no reason whatsoever, and filling the soundtrack with ominous music and "creepy" sound effects that sound like they were swiped from a local carnival Spook House. This makes the film's final twist not only completely and absolutely baffling, but also just plain awkward. Things simply happen with no explanation, so there is just no sense in trying to make sense of this jumbled mess of a plot the filmmakers have given us. The movie isn't even interesting to look at in a visual sense. The settings are constantly dark, murky, foggy, or muddied. It's kind of like trying to watch a movie through a dirty window. I can understand that the filmmakers were trying to go for a "drab" look to give the film an ominous tone, but here it backfires and simply makes the movie look ugly. There is not one single moment that works in the entire movie, and not one solitary instance that can convince me anyone involved in this production knew what they were doing.
As the film opens, IMF Agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) has finally met the right woman in the form of a sweet nurse named Julia (Michelle Monaghan), and is seriously considering leaving his days as a super spy behind him and finally settling down. He's called back into action when one of his former students in the agency, Lindsey Feris (Keri Russell), is kidnaped while investigating a ruthless arms dealer named Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman). The ultimate outcome of the rescue mission makes Hunt realize that Davian is a madman that must be stopped. The mission will take him to various exotic locales around the world, and will ultimately uncover Davian's true purpose - to locate a top secret weapon known only as the "Rabbit's Foot". The mission turns personal when the mad arms dealer turns the tables on Hunt, and uses threats and blackmail in order to force Ethan to steal the deadly weapon for him. With his wife Julia and his new life in jeopardy, Ethan Hunt will be pushed to the edge in order to protect everything he holds dear.
It's quite obvious that J.J. Abrams was trying to add a more personal touch to this installment by having the villain threatening Ethan's private life as well as global security. In an attempt to add some more human drama to the proceedings, Abrams allows us to look at Hunt's world outside of his job - something we saw precious little of if any in the previous films. This is certainly commendable, and there are some other nice touches that he uses in this film as well. The opening scene is actually a very tense sequence late in the film where we find Hunt in the middle of a life or death situation. The film then flashes back to where it all began. The opening scene is a great attention grabber for the audience, and sets up an appropriate tense tone. It's too bad that the film winds up shooting itself in the foot, as it is never quite able to reach this level of tension ever again. And while the idea of focusing on Ethan's life is a good one, the film does so little with the idea that you almost wonder why Abrams (who co-wrote the script as well) kept the idea in there at all. All hope that this will be an intelligent action thriller fades away as we slowly begin to realize that the film has nothing more on its mind than being a white knuckle special effects and overblown stunt extravaganza.
Now, there's certainly nothing wrong with that, especially for a summer movie. But Mission: Impossible III gets a little bit too crazy for its own good. The movie throws Hunt into one increasingly ludicrous dangerous situation after another, piling them on to the point that it starts to become unintentionally laughable. The fact that most of these overblown action sequences take place in broad daylight and in the middle of crowded and public areas, and the surrounding people don't seem to be quite as concerned as they really should be, makes it all the more hilarious. Now, I've never been in a situation where I was in a crowded city street bridge, and suddenly helicopters and jet fighters started shooting at cars with guided missiles but somehow, I think the innocent people would be in much more of a panic. Public roadways are blown to bits, massive amounts of property damage occurs, innocent people get caught in the crossfire, and very few people even seem to raise an eyebrow at these incredible and horrific events unfolding right outside their front door. For a top secret government agency, the IMF certainly does not take any drastic steps to hide their identity, since in this movie they're often in violent gunfights in plain view, dodging bullets and ballistic weaponry. It gets to the point that the film starts to resemble a big dumb video game with Tom Cruise running, jumping, and shooting hundreds of faceless drones. This is one of those movies where you wonder why the filmmakers didn't just go all the way and add a score counter in the top right hand corner of the screen.
That's not to say everyone doesn't give it their all. Tom Cruise is all but willing to throw himself back into the stunt-filled role of super agent Ethan Hunt. Yes, he doesn't get to create quite as human a character as the film hints at in the beginning, but he is physically skilled enough to pull off the demanding role and a number of complex action scenes. He also has to pretty much carry the film all by himself, as his fellow agents (including Ving Rhames and Maggie Q) are restricted to mostly being on the sidelines while Cruise's Hunt gets to show off. Michelle Monaghan starts off promising as Hunt's new wife (though what happened to Hunt's girlfriend that he walked off into the sunset with at the end of M:I II is never quite explained), but she is mostly used as a damsel in distress, except for a ludicrous scene near the end where she suddenly becomes an expert at handling automatic weaponry after Hunt gives her a brief 15-second explanation on how to load it. Though she is attractive and likeable, we never quite get why Ethan is willing to give up his old life for her, as they spend such a short amount of time together. The real stand out is Philip Seymour Hoffman, who gives a commanding and powerful performance as the film's main villain. He is ruthless, demanding, strong, and deserves much better than what the screenplay gives him. He has such a strong presence that you want to see more of him. Unfortunately, the movie mostly keeps him at bay, and we feel like we're only watching a small fraction of what the character is capable of. Too bad, with a stronger role, the character of Owen Davian could have been one of the more memorable movie villains I think.
11-year-old Akeelah Anderson (Keke Palmer) is a smart young girl trapped in a failing middle school located in the poor area of Los Angeles. When she was younger, she seemed destined for great things, and even skipped ahead a grade. But because she is surrounded by violence, gangs, and an unstable family life at home, she is afraid of what others would think of her if she displayed her intelligence openly, and prefers to keep her gifts and her love of learning to herself. Akeelah's continuous perfect scores on spelling tests catches the attention of the school's principal (Curtis Armstrong), and he sees an opportunity to give the school some positive publicity by entering her in the local Spelling Bee. Akeelah is reluctant, but eventually goes along with the plan, easily winning the competition and earning her chance to go to the State Bee, and perhaps even the National. She is soon paired with a spelling tutor who will help guide her down the long road ahead - a former college professor with a wide variety of personal demons in his past (Laurence Fishburne). Akeelah must now not only deal with the pressures of the Bee and representing her school, but also the continuous pressures at home, including an overworked mother (Angela Bassett) who fails to see the potential in her own daughter's dreams.
The underdog story told within Akeelah and the Bee has been told many times before, but rarely has it been told this well. I don't think I'm giving away anything by revealing that the spelling tutor's past will catch up with him, Akeelah will learn to believe in herself and embrace her own abilities, and that the climax will bring everything together at the big competition. It's a formula that dates all the way back to the Rocky films, and probably even further back than that. However, the screenplay by Atchison is not just content to simply throw out the expected plot elements. It goes much deeper than that, developing real and honest characters that make even the most tired cliches seem almost new again, and dialogue that is often natural sounding and never forced. This isn't one of those movies where the kids are smarter than the adults, and throw out continuous one liners that only a highly paid Hollywood writer could dream up. The kids are allowed to act like real children. Their joy, their insecurities, their hopes - It's all real and it's all up there on the screen. When the kids do bring forth laughs from the audience, it's not because of some clever line of dialogue, or because of juvenile bathroom humor. They generate laughs by being real children, and acting like they would in such a situation. This movie contains one of the more accurate portrayals of childhood I've seen in a wide release movie in quite some time.
There is an overall sense of honesty in Akeelah that rings true almost throughout. From its characters to its dialogue, the film always strives to aim higher than what we'd expect in the genre. The character of Akeelah herself may follow some of the standard rules of child heroines in these kind of films (must have one dead parent, must have a hard time believing in themself, etc.), but she is lifted above the norm thanks to the personality the screenplay gives her, and the wonderful performance by young Keke Palmer makes her come alive even more. She is someone easy to root for, flawed in her own way, and immediately likeable. Even the supporting characters, like the kids that she befriends in the Spelling Bee circuit, are more true than what we would expect, including a wonderful performance by a young actor named J.R. Villarreal as Akeelah's best friend in the competition. Not only does Mr. Villarreal have great comic timing, but he's also a generally talented child actor all around, and one I would like to see more of. And even if the script's plot covers some well worn territory, it still finds some ways to surprise us, especially during its climax. Most of all, I enjoyed how Akeelah's hometown life and surroundings were portrayed. Even if they have been softened up somewhat in order to keep a PG-rating, the script does not shy away from the hardships of Akeelah's life. Not just the hardships, but also the joys of her local community have been correctly displayed here.
