If last year's Date Movie was not enough to convince you that filmmakers Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have no clue when it comes to successful parody, then their latest offering, Epic Movie, should prove beyond all reasonable doubt that they have no place behind the camera. A supposed parody of blockbuster films, the movie suffers from the same problems that plagued their last outing, in that they confuse cramming as many references they can into an 80 minute long movie for humor. It's not funny to just simply see references to Borat or Star Wars in your movie, you have to give them something actually funny to do. The screenplay by the directors can't figure that out, so the laughs never come. You'll recall that Date Movie wound up on my worst films of 2006 list. Don't be surprised if Epic Movie makes an appearance at the end of 2007.

The film tells the story of four young orphans who are united by a common destiny. Ditzy Lucy (Jayma Mays) was raised by a museum curator until he was murdered by a mysterious albino, and she was forced to follow some hidden clues in the Mona Lisa to lead her to destiny. Edward (Kal Penn) was raised in a Mexican orphanage, and dreams of becoming a Mexican wrestler. Susan (Faune A. Chambers) was on a flight to meet her new adoptive parents until the plane was attacked by snakes. And Peter (Adam Campbell) was a social outcast at a school for mutants, who could never get respect or a date from the sexy blue-skinned Mystique (Carmen Electra). The four come together when they find Golden Tickets to take a personal guided tour of the legendary chocolate factory owned by the eccentric and deranged Willy Wonka (Crispin Glover). When they learn that Wonka has devious plans for them (he wants to use their body parts in his candy), they run off and hide, discovering an antique wardrobe in the middle of a dusty old room. Stepping into the wardrobe, they discover the mystical land of Gnarnia, which is currently set in an eternal winter under the rule of the evil White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge). The four orphans must accept their destiny as the future saviors and rulers of Gnarnia, seek out the half man-half lion Aslo (Fred Willard), and discover the power within themselves to become heroes.

In creating Epic Movie, Friedberg and Seltzer seem to be heavily inspired by the old Mad Magazine movie parodies that used to fill countless visual gags in just about every panel of the comic. The difference is that the Mad parodies knew how to use their references in a funny way, and how to tie them into the story. This movie seems like a bunch of random images from other movies mixed into a blender, a couple fart and urine jokes added for good measure, and slapped together with little care for humor or coherency. The fact that the evil White Bitch has Imperial Stormtroopers in her army, or that the heroes have James Bond and Chewbacca standing next to each other in their army, is not enough. The movie constantly misses the point time and time again, and unless you are easily amused, the movie's running time will tick by all so slowly as gag after tired gag sputters and dies right up there on the screen. When the movie's not missing the point, it's overshooting its own targets. A good example is when the heroic orphans meet up with Harry Potter who trains them in magic and sword fighting. In this film, the character is portrayed by comic actor Kevin McDonald as an impish middle aged man who claims to only be 14-years-old. I guess the filmmakers are trying to say that the kids in the Harry Potter films look too old to be playing their characters. But, I don't remember anyone ever complaining about the actors looking too old for their characters. The joke falls completely on its face because when you stop and think about it, it's not really even parodying anything in the first place. They go to extremes for laughs, and still end up coming up short.

The movie also can't seem to make up its mind as to what it wants to parody, as many of the films referenced in Epic Movie would never be considered "epic" by any stretch of the imagination. How far off the mark do you have to be to put references to movies like Nacho Libre and Talladega Nights in your parody of big budget films? It even goes so low as to throw in some jabs at MTV shows such as Cribs and Punk'd that are not funny and never really manage to go anywhere in particular. They're just there for the sake of being there. The movie is further padded by a couple of scenes where the characters suddenly break into rap numbers that are not even remotely amusing, and left most of the audience I was in attendance with staring blankly at the screen. (Though, to be fair, they were laughing quite a bit at the rest of the film, which really made me question if they were watching a different movie than I was.) The film is directionless and sloppy, throwing darts at random targets, not really caring what it hits. I will admit, there is one time that I smiled during the film, and that was during the fight scene between Aslo and the evil Albino. The sight of the obvious and intentional stunt double for Aslo made me grin, but not much more than that. You can tell that I was desperate to find anything resembling amusement if I consider that the sole highlight. Everything else the movie tried to pass as humor left me feeling very sad and depressed.
I have no doubt that Epic Movie will find its audience with easily amused teenagers and kids, as well as those who still consider tired pratfalls and extended gags about yellow snow the pinnacle of humor. Everyone else would be well advised to stay home. When I go see a movie like this, I just want to laugh and have a good time. I tried my best to push the memories of Date Movie out of my head, and hope that they could do it right this time. After all, blockbuster films are an easier target than romantic comedies. It would seem that even the most obvious of targets can still slip through when the talent behind the camera is so limited. I seem to remember reading somewhere that the filmmaking duo of Friedberg and Seltzer next want to do a biography film about the life of Liberace. It remains to be seen if they can screw up that genre as much as they did the parody film.

1 comments