If there's one movie trend I wish I would just go away, it's the "gotcha" moment! It's a moment usually employed by comedies, where the movie tries to fool you into thinking the characters are talking about one thing, but then it turns out to be something completely different. I guess we're expected to smack our foreheads in surprise, and shake our heads over how clever the film is. Of course this never happens, because the audience is usually smarter than the movie itself, so why is it trying to fool us in the first place? 27 Dresses opens with such a "gotcha" moment. We see the lead star, Katherine Heigl, being fitted for a wedding dress. I guess we're supposed to think that this is her wedding she's getting ready for, but wouldn't you know it, she gets a phone call and...wait for it...It's from the bride! Heigl is just trying on the dress for her! And I wind up looking at the screen in dumb disbelief, wondering who the movie thinks its fooling.

Of course, the audience is too smart to fall for such a switcheroo, because we know what the movie is about. We've seen the ad campaign, and we've seen the actors go on talk shows during the week leading up to the release, talking about the story. Why do the filmmakers go through such pains to try to fool us when we already know she's not the intended bride in the first place? For those of you not in the know, Katherine Heigl plays Jane, a woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times, and has a dress to represent each one stuffed in her closet. Her closet is so stuffed with bridesmaid gowns that it doesn't even close all the way anymore. Why does she do this? Because she's a generic romantic comedy lead who thinks only about weddings, clips out articles about weddings, and pretty much doesn't seem to have a life outside of planning every single detail of everyone else's wedding, and her job. She doesn't do anything at her job except pine for her boss, George (Edward Burns, who after One Missed Call and now this is not having a very good month). Naturally, George doesn't even notice her affections, and she's too shy to speak up. Things get even worse when Jane's sexy and slightly ditzy sister Tess (Malin Akerman) comes to visit, and George immediately falls for her. Whoa! Another "gotcha" moment we can't see coming only if we lack the mental ability to get dressed by ourselves in the morning!

Tess and George only hit it off, because Tess lies to make herself look better to the guy. (She tells him she's a vegetarian, loves animals, and enjoys the outdoors, when she hates all those things.) George is too much of a dimwit to realize this, and proposes marriage about a week after knowing her, by my estimate. Now poor Jane has to prepare everything for her sister's wedding to the guy she's always wanted. Of course she doesn't say anything, not even that Tess is lying to George, because if she said that the movie would be over a lot sooner, we'd all be much happier, and could go on with our lives. But wait, there's another "gotcha" moment waiting in the wings to spring itself on us. You see, there's this obnoxious jerk who keeps on popping up everywhere Jane goes named Kevin (James Marsden). He hates weddings, because he got stood up at the altar himself, and doesn't believe in true love. He says he's a writer, but there's absolutely no way he can be the guy who writes all the articles about weddings for the newspaper that Jane loves so much, and clips out every week. No, absolutely not. But wait, they start to slowly fall for each other the more time they spend together. Could it be that they are made for each other? Will the movie ever realize we're two steps ahead of it, and stop trying to surprise us with bargain basement romantic comedy cliches?

27 Dresses is a movie that's been assembled from the bits and pieces of better screenplays, hastily glued together, and then slapped up on the screen with little care. I'm not asking that every movie be a shining example of originality, but I really get annoyed when it assumes I'm a total idiot, and acts like I'm supposed to be surprised by these kind of developments. I'd be able to forgive this if there was some evidence that the filmmakers understood the material was old and worn, and tried to hold our attention with some clever dialogue. Unfortunately, there is nothing here to give the impression that anyone involved gave this project even a second thought. The direction by Anne Fletcher (Step Up) holds absolutely no originality, and the screenplay credited to Aline Brosh McKenna (The Devil Wears Prada) may have been torn directly from a "how to write a romantic comedy" textbook. The movie almost seems to know how dull and desperate it is, and makes no effort to cover it up. Even the casting seems to be inspired by past romantic comedies. Jane's best friend is played by Judy Greer, and she seems to have been made up to somewhat resemble Joan Cusack, an actress who has played more than her share of "best friend" roles in other films.

The sad thing is, I can see Katherine Heigl succeeding in this kind of material. She's attractive without being impossibly so, and has a pleasant screen presence. The movie forgets to give her a character to play here. Like everything else, her Jane is cobbled together from lead characters in other romantic comedies, and does all the things we expect her to do. Heigl tries her best, but because the movie gives her nothing to do, she just has to stand there and give a lot of energy for nothing. I was one of the few people that was not taken by her breakout movie role in last summer's Knocked Up, but I liked her performance there, and I liked her here too. Now she just needs a script and a character to match her talent. Malin Akerman as her sister seems to be channeling some of Cameron Diaz's comedic roles, but without the spark and wit they usually hold. Filling in the two male lead roles, both Edward Burns and James Marsden seem to be wondering what they're doing here. Burns, in particular, seems to be in danger of falling asleep from boredom at any moment in a couple of his scenes. Maybe he should start looking at his scripts before he signs on to do them.

27 Dresses crams everything I hate about contrived comedies into one unappealing package. It's a movie about dumb people saying things no one in their right mind would say, and doing things no one in their right mind would do. The kind of people displayed in this film could never exist, and if they did, you probably wouldn't want to know them in the first place as they'd have nothing intelligent to say. When a movie thinks its smarter than me, it usually annoys me. When a movie as dumb as this thinks its smarter than me, it infuriates me.

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