Perhaps if it were a smart satire, Confessions of a Shopaholic could have worked. But it's not a satire, and it's certainly not smart. This movie is a shrill, brainless, and obnoxiously bubbly romantic comedy that praises consumerism and spending beyond your means, while at the same time condemning it. If only mixed messages were the most of this movie's problems. Throw in leaden dialogue, forced and unconvincing humor, an implausible plot, and a central romance completely lacking in passion and purpose, and you have one of the most uncomfortable movie experiences of the year.

The opening credits actually filled me with hope. The star of the film is Isla Fisher, a rising comic actress who has been very good in films like Wedding Crashers and Definitely, Maybe. My hope continued to build when I read some of her co-stars...Joan Cusack, John Goodman, John Lithgow, and Kristin Scott Thomas. Even the director, P.J. Hogan, has made many films I admired including Muriel's Wedding, My Best Friend's Wedding, and 2003's live action Peter Pan. Somehow, all of this talent has come together to make a film of stunning banality and bad taste. The bad taste part is not entirely the fault of the filmmakers. After all, they didn't know what the state of the U.S. economy would be when they were shooting the thing. But the folks at Touchstone/Disney should have known better to release a movie were a bubble-headed heroine praises the values of impulse spending throughout, and solves all of her money problems by being her adorable and ditzy self. It sends the wrong message to its audience, and is probably not the kind of thing most people want to watch right now.

The movie is garish and annoying, kind of like it's lead character, Rebecca Bloomwood. Isla Fisher plays her kind of like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, only without the good intentions and the hidden smarts. As the film opens, she works as a journalist for a gardening magazine, but the job is mainly so she can keep herself stocked with the latest fashion accessories. This passion has led to a massive amount of backed up debt and maxed-out credit cards, but it's okay! She's got a supportive best friend who she lives with named Suze (Krysten Ritter). That's the first problem with this movie - Rebecca never seems to be in any danger of losing anything. She lives off her friend and her friend's fiance, and she's constantly able to ignore the increasing amount of calls and visits from the debt collector with cute and implausible excuses. ("My aunt died in a sky-diving accident!") In this movie's world, being swallowed by financial debt isn't such a bad thing. It's a light-hearted and fun romp where you just might find love! And don't forget, being pursued by debt collectors can lead to an endless string of delightful slapstick moments.

To fix her problem, Rebecca plans to get a job at a fashion magazine. Due to circumstances too convoluted to recap here, she instead ends up getting hired as a writer for a savings magazine. She blows the initial interview, but the magazine's head editor, Luke Brandon (Hugh Dancy, who comes across here as a wannabe Hugh Grant without the personality and screen presence), is just so charmed with Rebecca's off the wall behavior (She uses a noisy pencil sharpener in the middle of a business meeting! She dives and crawls across a long executive table to answer the phone!), that he not only gives her a job, but he starts to fall for her. Darn if we can figure out why. The two have nothing in common, and their scenes together that are supposed to be romantic have all the passion and joy of a prostate exam. Of course, now that she has money again, she has to force herself to control her spending habits. She starts going to self-help meetings (hence the title), but never seems to take them truly seriously.

Like I said, Confessions of a Shopaholic could have worked if the movie treated its subject matter with some wit, or maybe if it had something to say about compulsive spending. Instead, the movie parades some of the worst romantic comedy cliches imaginable, and stale slapstick gags. Poor Rebecca seems to be a magnet for walls, people, and anything else conceivably possible to crash into. She also never comes across as someone to root for. Besides her obsession with spending beyond her means, she never shows a true work ethic (she misses deadlines and interviews to do more shopping, without even being punished), and she also lies incessantly. Her editor/romantic interest is supposed to come across as someone who is patient and willing to see the best in her, but he instead comes across as the most gullible man to walk the face of the Earth. It's almost alarming how artificial this movie comes across, and how detached from reality it seems to be.

But, it's just supposed to be mindless escapism, right? You're not supposed to read anything too serious into it, right? Hey, I was ready for a good time walking into the movie, and like I said, the names displayed in the opening credits filled me with hope. All that talent is used to no effect, however. Outside of Fisher, the rest of the names I mentioned are neglected in forgettable cameos and supporting roles. Isla Fisher does at least appear to be trying, but her performance is too far over the top. She's constantly shrieking, playing up the goofiness of the character, and really just seems to be trying too hard. After seeing her in this, I'd love to see her in a more low key comic role, where she doesn't seem to be pleading for the approval of an invisible audience in every scene. Her performance never once finds the right tone, nor does it ever strike the right note.

Even if the movie wasn't being released at a bad time, it still wouldn't have worked. The movie is too forcefully cute. It actually resembles its lead character, in that it often doesn't seem to know what it's doing, and thinks it can just coast on by with artificial charm. If Confessions of a Shopaholic had at least been a decent length (say 80 or 90 minutes long), I could at least say it didn't overextend its welcome. Too bad the movie's nearly two hours.

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

0 comments