Here is a movie that's easier to admire for what it tries to do, rather than what's up on the screen. Diary of a Wimpy Kid (based on a series of best selling books by Jeff Kinney) wants to take a satirical and somewhat honest look at the most awkward time in a child's life - namely, middle school. It's an odd time for everyone. You're too old to be considered a "child", but still too young to know better. It's a time when fitting in with the right crowd and wearing the right clothes means absolutely everything. It's also an odd time where you're too old for childish toys, but still young enough to believe childish school urban legends about that mysterious piece of moldy cheese that supposedly has been stuck to the basketball court blacktop for years.

I liked that aspect of the film. Early on, one of the kids at the middle school tells the story of the slice of cheese which has been laying there since time immortal (or at least what a 12-year-old views as time immortal). Whoever touches it gets the dreaded "cheese touch", and basically commits social suicide, as no one will go near them. It makes sense, since the only way to lose the "touch" is to pass it on to someone else. These are the kind of things that only make sense to someone in the age group of the characters, and when the movie focused on stuff like this, I smiled out of recognition. I imagined what a smarter and wittier movie could do with that material. This is not that movie, though. It's harmless enough alright, but it suffers from one major problem I couldn't get over.

I didn't like the "Wimpy Kid" of the title. He's Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon, who I must admit, is a pretty talented young actor), a 12-year-old who thinks he is ready to tackle middle school, but is not ready for the fact that almost everyone around him has had a growth spurt over the summer, making him one of the smallest kids in his class. His older brother (Devon Bostick) gives him the following advice to survive the next three years - lay low, and don't draw attention to yourself. But Greg has different ideas. He wants to climb the popularity ladder to the top, excel at every sport and after school club he tries out for, and ultimately end up as the "Class Favorite" in the yearbook at the end of the school year. The main thing holding him back from achieving popularity is his best friend, Rowley (Robert Capron), an overweight kid who always says the wrong or "uncool" thing, rides a girl's bike, and has the worst fashion sense imaginable.

The funny thing is, the character of Rowley fits the title of a "Wimpy Kid" better than Greg does. Greg at least has an understanding of what's considered "cool" amongst his peers, whereas Rowley seems to have not only missed the boat completely, but also the pier. The big problem I had with the film is that Greg frequently seems abusive and sometimes mean to Rowley. One of his favorite games to play with his friend is one where Rowley rides down the sidewalk on a big wheel bike, while Greg stands at the side, and throws a football at him as he passes by. This causes an accident where Rowley ends up breaking his arm. To Greg's shock, this suddenly makes his friend popular. Girls swarm around Rowley, wanting to sign his cast, and they actually start to get to know him and like him. Greg is left alone, which would be sympathetic, but the problem is that the kid is never once sorry for what he did. In fact, he actually thinks Rowley should thank him for breaking his arm, since it led to his sudden popularity.

If this was the only thing I didn't like about Greg, I still probably could have found more to like about this movie, but this is one selfish, self-centered kid. He constantly ignores the advice of a girl at his school named Angie (Chloe Grace Moretz), who is obviously wiser than him in just how pointless the pursuit of popularity is. He's so focused on his own goal of becoming popular, he brushes her aside every chance he gets. He's also a manipulative little brat. At one point in the film, he abandons a bunch of kindergarten kids he was looking after in a muddy ditch in an attempt to save his own skin. When the incident is brought to light, he blames it on Rowley. Why are we supposed to sympathize with this kid? Yes, he learns a life lesson at the end, and makes a speech in front of his fellow students about what he's learned, but it's too late by that point. The entire third act of the film concerns Greg trying to win Rowley's friendship back after wrongfully blaming him for the incident, but I couldn't help but feel that Rowley was better off without him.

Besides its unlikable protagonist, Diary of a Wimpy Kid has very little to comment on. It's a loosely connected series of PG-rated gross-out gags focusing on urination, boogers, snot, and other bodily fluids that kids in the 10-12 range will likely find hilarious. And of course, if the movie keeps on coming back to that moldy piece of cheese, you just know that not only will someone touch it at one point, but they will also eat it. The movie is also never as funny or as wise as it seems to think it is. I don't know about anyone else, but I highly doubt any middle school would have a "Mother and Son" dance night. Speaking of moms, Greg's parents (played here by Rachael Harris and Steve Zahn) are given very little to do, and may as well have not been in the movie at all.
I will give Diary the benefit of the doubt, and say that it probably works better on the written page. In fact, word from kids is that the movie differs greatly from the books. I will probably never know, and have no plans to find out for myself. All I can comment on is the film itself, and how it ended up focusing on the wrong kid. There are some cute moments here and there (I liked the little line drawing cartoons that show up from time to time, expressing Greg's thoughts), but they are overpowered by one insufferable little kid in the middle of it all.

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